I am definitely getting faster and am trying to break 60. I found it helpful to use a larger stylus/pen rather than my PDAPanache chromy.
Your observation is shared by Ken Chan, one of the two winners of DP II:
Anyway, back to the topic, I found that using a soft tipped stylus made me feel better about not hurting my Palm V.. However, a nice little extra was that it helped my writing speed on the fitaly. For some reason, you don't need to press letters as hard to get a response. In the video, I am actually using a dried out texta, it is actually a really nice stylus to use, i strongly suggest it. I actually created a modified stylus with one of these soft tips on the end, and was using it until I lost the stylus (DOH) and had to go back to the standard one...
I myself use an old-fashioned Sheafer fountain pen, which has not seen any ink for the past ten years :) It has the correct feel, the right weight, and I like how it rebounds on FitalyStamp as I move from letter to letter, with the natural flexibility of the gold pen. Also, the spherical tip helps to make tap actions more vertical.